mapping of a performance process in the times of COVID-19
The Mountain of Maybe(s)
TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC
1
me Identity us them who you someone partly wholy completely divide persperctive angle inside corner wholesome view outside personal intimate collective strenght solidarity man together culture corporal art isolation foreign body sculpture spirit mind intrusion soul soul silHouette up rape shadow light light double violence single rough intense sweat soft sadness mind sex heat anger heart blood blood cells connections periods karminred
virus period family baby society exclusion lonely inclusion social one isolation exclusion out solo freedom belonging group on expectation meaning longing disappointment reality frustration wishes mountain dreams helplessness imagination limitless suicide end lost struggling phoenix loss home search beginning eyes found comfort zone development the one bed arriving travelling blanket silent stop sit down never ok maybe do it why conversation dialogue about interaction and monologue in time
together friendship trust circus frustration people community respect other we egoism judgement sky understand cloud try freedom misunderstood conflict mistake what fail war question brave sorry too late fine not knot knee known memory education unknown now roots copy later heritage hunger never culture once move legacy hair skin barbie feel care perfect curvs appearance contrast self care feminism shaves shaved shapes mask no
mouth naked boobs crisis art adapting REVOLUTION changement FIRE red break NO dare anarchy fist rupture peaceful today now now again resistant government insist always history ahead REBIRTH against repetition further regeneration new imaginary accumulation hopeful utopia dream Capture vision dystopia futuristic evolution illusion the beatles do personal frame go steps forward skrillex punk with(out) 68 action reaction go anarchy process o bella ciao liberation wings
roots rights identity Hindered for solidarity strike leech government fake struggle truth real news hypocrisis stop together hierarchy lie unity rethink against believe push believe rethink together hope speech defend question reinvent protect brick dictatorship protect defend weapon attack safe military Politicians democracy control democontrol freedom demogorgon uncontrol overwhleming lines approach Mirror perspective reflection who light angle mesure shadow similarity form same
reality not copy unreality reflection symmetry difference illusion partial infinity shadow exercice eyes other self contrast meeting confrontation opression truth selfcounscious look like selfcontrol selfcritic power selfknowladge vampire perspective society hate inner outer useless between before squeeze deformation future layer line outer inside upstairs invisible brain eyes higher gaze jerking off details steamedblurished reflect narcissus make up life flesh brushing beauty looking apperence superficial observation uglyness
reality self tending honest lie neutral standards give back expectation give up object pain steal water shater obtain insecurity uncertainty images assurance safety covered trust masks words hugs touch give take love hands hate frikandel rain laughter bubble towards future utopias mutations mountain text scaffold pieces impact skin chairs clothes lamp clothes mirrors clothes table clothes bed clothes sofa clothes teddy bear clothes plastic clothes oven
clothes tea pot clothes SKIRt SHIRT T-SHIRT PANTS SHORTs LONG POcKETS sLEAVES SHOES HAT GLOVES PULL-OVER SCARF JAcKETS LEGGINGS SOCKS DRESS UNDERWEAR BRAS TIES TIE BELT bikes jumbo bags rain kroketten courgettes body helmets branches spoons caddy english underwear used broken shoes apparatus clouds chairs mats blocks passport rain objects pointed feet blood sheets tissue sweat muscle pain tears alcohol sleeping bags party blue dress paint tiredness pizza
music warm-up lake dunes Oerol wind drunk accident black money falls housemates back in shape eat tiny car plates outside forbidden capoeira minutes driving licence benches rave chapel square circle line trampoline emotions workshops socks shibari naked boobs #metoo fuck the space thunderstorm dance impro revolution leaving coming back understanding tears stitches sun piercings love snow portuguese flour books hosting smiles together nightmare time sweat ugly make-up eyelashes
fake truth care hug impossible utopia big mountain climbing scary mask new trend expensive money value opinion questionmark Snake and point Ying and yang peace passion folding clothes patience time perception angle climbing stone sharp heavy weight gpp sweat popsongs classics mister policeman down to the floor horizontal vertical line curve circle triangle dot coin buying encounters busy pandemia fat corona injuries leaving preparing always future now far sky limitless
page 2 and 3, 86 and 87 Associated words list; created during meetings on Microsoft teams, further written by Andréa Martin Lopez and Laurence Felber
Contents Introduction Nikita Maheshwary
6
Conversation 1
10
Conversation 2
22
The Mountain of Maybe(s)
28
Conversation 3
40
Conversation 4
56
Notes of a Midwife ~ Epilogue
74
Colophon
85
Samuel Rhyner | Mar Olivé Nieto | Vanessa Sweekhorst | Francesca Orso
Lina Isaksson | Andréa Martin Lopez | Gabriella de Gennaro
Laurence Felber | Maria Madeira | Lina Isaksson | Elodie Dubuc
Sien van Acker | Andréa Martin Lopez | Alexandra Raval | Nikita Maheshwary
Nikita Maheshwary
6 Introduction Before we begin, let’s define the characters of this book, if I may. But first, let me walk you through the plot and the timing of it all. the plot: The task of conceiving and directing a group performance; staged by the graduating class of Academy of Circus and Performance Art, Fontys School of Fine and Performing Arts, Tilburg. the time: April-June 2020* the characters: 1. A cohort of 16 artist-students** 2. An apparent** coach 3. The constant believers This is a story about a performance process which evolved from an online to an offline environment in the midst of a raging pandemic. Or better, it is a story displaced in time, unravelling the metamorphosis of frustrations & disappointments of withered dreams into new ways of thinking, creating and performing. In April, scattered across Europe, as we were, we got together online to begin ideating for the graduation performance, all the while, battling the complexities of a digital creative process between the constantly changing rules & regulations, poor internet connections and the precarity of the entire situation. Starting June, we gathered together in Concertzaal, Tilburg, for three weeks, maintaining the stipulated distance of 1.5 metres and the format of consistent iterations, to finally build - The Mountain of Maybe(s). Against the backdrop of four conversations and an epilogue - notes of a midwife, the following pages will trace poems, doodles, Zoom performances that preceded the slurry of texts, skinscapes and scenes of rigour (and sometimes, sheer magic!) which built a performance that embraced the macroscopic situation, and each other, while being unalterably apart.
7
* 2020: The year that changed perspectives, brought havoc and challenged many normalities ofhuman existence. Here, however, we want to zoom into the ‘normality’ of the process of performance creat ion. One may argue, a creative process is never linear or normal; every process is unique. I agree. But this, was that; while learning to grapple with the many restrictions and ways of being & thinking that the onset of this pandemic brought. The codes of performativity, the somewhat-chronological steps taken during a creation process, the economics attached to it and the formats of presentation - all of it changed. It will unfold further, as you read along; you’ll see. ** After much deliberation I use the words - ‘artist-students’ and ‘apparent coach’. For how much student- ness remained in these circus artists; two or three months worth, not much. And considering, the task asked of them, i.e. to create a performance with 16 performers onstage in the times of COVID19; they are the new generation of artists leading us towards new ways of thinking about performance and performativity. As for the ‘apparent’ - all these months, I have been trapped in the double-bind of this word. On one hand, it was apparent (evident & clear), that I had to play the role of a coach, guiding them into the creative process; and yet, at the same time, I played the apparent (ostensive & supposed) coach as I juggled the roles of a cheerleader, ventboard, planner and evaluator while walking a very tight rope of uncertainties.
As a base the silver threat between me and my mother, the taste of grained coffee beans, my leather jacket, my circle of friends, my series of notebooks, a postcard with a surreal zebra on it from my boyfriend, a freshly cooked meal, this red cotton fabric with japanese flower patterns, the first birds singing on a morning in spring, the one memory to the skiing holidays in 2008, my laptop – in the middle layer, stagged up, between, together – all of it always moving – the shape of a litchi
My mountain of meaningful things Text by Laurence Felber
fruit, the colored houses in the old village of Bosa, my red nailpolished fingers in the blue water of the Aare, all the moments of surprise, the little plastic pig –– it piles up – where is the top? Is there a top?
10 conversation 1 In a dialogue over Microsoft Teams reflecting on two weeks of ideation and one week of working together in smaller groups of four. 15 of May 2020, Friday Samuel Rhyner | Guipry, France Mar Olivé Nieto | Tilburg, Netherlands Francesca Orso | Tilburg, Netherlands Vanessa Sweekhorst | Munich, Germany
11
sam: I think we can start by sharing where we are at in the ideation process within our respective groups. mar: I can start with my group. In our group, which was Alex, Maria and I, we tried to explore and use Zoom, the video chat program, to research ways to use the built-in tools of the program for performance. We started with recording parts of the body and skin, like really zooming in, so it could look like an unending landscape. To add to that layer, we explored with dots, colours and words. And that’s what we presented the other day when we did a little performance for you guys on Zoom.
vanessa: Yes, it was really nice to watch that. sam: Where is it now? Like, how do you wish to progress it further? mar: We aren’t sure amidst all these uncertainties. If we get the possibility in June to develop the performance in real-time in Concertzaal, we will have to adapt the idea for the stage, or else, we will evolve and build it further in the coming week. sam: But do you think the medium is apt? Like you want to use Zoom, right? mar: Yeah, of course, it’s not an ideal option. I mean, we didn’t think of it initially, when we thought about our group show. But, for the circumstances we are in right now, I think it works. francesca: Would you propose, you share your group’s process and then the other groups also try the same. I mean, each group will interpret it differently, but would you like that? mar: For the moment, we don’t really know. We had this initial idea and we want to develop it more. I don’t know if the skin will remain the bedrock of this all but it is something that inspired us at the moment. Also, perhaps because we are so far from each other, it’s nice to work with the idea of touch and skin and the possibilities on Zoom to make us really feel together-together…
12
sam: Would you like to make a video of the performance and then show it on Zoom?
mar: No, we imagine to do it live in front of a Zoom audience. vanessa: I hope you can hear me a little bit, my internet connection isn’t the best. In my group, along with Gabriella, Andrea and Laurence, we are thinking that if we continue to stay online with the creation process and live stream the end show, then we showcase a video that we have already made before because I feel in video chats there are so many technical problems. Like every other time, I either don’t hear you guys or see clearly or it gets stuck, so I am not sure if we can actually control what people get to see. mar: True, but let’s talk about the idea of your group. What has been your inspiration? vanessa: Sitting in different places, we decided to bring what is inspiring us the most, at this moment. Laurence made a poem as did Gabriella about what is possible now (during Europe-wide lockdown) vs the way we imagined this creation process in «normal» times. Andrea also made a text and a movement video. Here at the lake of Schliersee in the mountains, I have been doing aerial work with straps and I made a video of that. By using written text, audio and video material, we found ways to share our realities simultaneously while making all of these materials interact with each other. We are not of one opinion on the way to present it, but I think we can record this performance and present the video of it in the online performance. It takes away the spontaneity but I’d rather not have technical glitches.
sam: But then, doesn’t it kill the essence of the work. mar: Yeah, then we become video makers. vanessa: True, we aren’t really video makers and it could end up looking amateurish.
13
Francesca: I don’t think we need to be so strict with the professional look of the video because I mean this is a unique situation and we are finding new ways to perform. In my point of view, people are not going to judge us thinking we don’t do good editing. It’s nice to take care while shooting and editing the footage but let’s not put too much emphasis on it. Moving on, to share about the work in my group with Lina, Stefan and Elodie; we focused a lot on how we can use the distance, I mean, the physical distance amongst us in this online environment. That’s why we thought of playing with the idea of projection. The projection can become a medium of coming together in one place, like say, in the same landscape. The projection is our mind-space where we can roam freely. Lina and Stefan have access to a projector in the theatre in Strängnäs and we want that all of us, including Elodie and me, can record videos of ourselves and also of different landscapes, like me being in Tilburg and Elodie in Normandy and then project it all in the theatre. Then you can also see our bodies in one space altogether and that we are connected somehow. Also, the movement of the body is influenced by the video material, like Lina & Stefan have made this video of the movement of leaves, and say I make one of water and then we move in a similar rhythm pattern. We feel that can deepen the aspect of being close and far away at the same time.
Sam: In this way, we can all come together and this could be done with the whole class. No? Francesca: Yeah! Yeah, sure!! Vanessa: I guess, if we perform the group show online, we can invite the audience on Zoom and guide them into different chat rooms for varied scenes we are building. Mar: And then, some parts can be performed live and some parts can be recorded. Sam: That sounds good.
14
francesca: There could also be one room with projections of everybody. For example, what Vanessa’s group does in their chatroom, we can project in ours.
sam: Like you project a screen share? francesca: Exactly. So maybe then, we can finally be together in the same place. vanessa: It’s a good idea. Let’s try proposing it to the group next time. Sam, do you wish to share your group’s work now? sam: We, yeah. We have…we have a lot of anger and frustration. mar: It’s a common feeling, don’t worry. everyone laughs sam: To channelise this anger, Sien talked about building a mountain. A mountain of meaningful things. We want to build this mountain very slowly, taking our own time, with much precision and rigour. It would have this continuous repetitive long action of creating something precious with objects that really mean something to us. Like a mandala. vanessa: Objects of importance, huh? Like our circus diploma. everyone laughs sam: We wish to build it to destroy it. Like, cleanse out the extra… maybe with a fire. We want to try building the mountain here in Guipry, a small village in West of France with Adele, Solune and I. After carefully building it, we will burn it and then make a small dance around it. We intend to make it much bigger and with real meaningful things, like with our passports for example.
vanessa: And then, perform a ritualistic Indian kind-of-dance. sam: Yes. I guess it could be projected or performed live. Like a long durational action.
Mar: That can be really nice!
15
Sam: Yeah, I don’t know. We can record it as a time-lapse video too. That would perhaps be nicer to watch. We also thought it could be nice if we could invite an audience here, to come and watch. And, then place the money from the tickets also on the mountain and the audience doesn’t know what’s going to happen. After a while when we start to burn the mountain down with their money, I am curious about the frustration that the audience might feel but also the questions they might ask themselves at the end of this. Vanessa: I think if you actually do this, it could be cool. Sam: Yes, beyond the aesthetics, our aim is that people realise that they put a lot of value in ‘things’. Like imagine, money is just a piece of paper or we hold on to photographs or objects so dearly. How we attach so much emotional value in things and this performance could be made in a way that it feels like a collective cleansing process. Francesca: Where did this idea come from? Sam: From a book called ‘Nothing’ by Janne Teller which Sien was reading and then in our initial discussions Lina mentioned Marie Kondo. Mar: Maybe the action of destroying can be more with the body, perhaps not burning it, but more like trashing it. Sam: The idea of the fire is really important to us. I don’t know how possible it is but I imagine making a huge fire, like at least four meters high. Mar: With all these little scenes, I think it can become a nice online show. Like a peep into different utopias. Sam: And if we get to bring this to the stage, we would need to re adapt everything again. But this continues to remain a vague possibility. Let’s see. Vanessa: When do we meet next? Tomorrow?? I don’t remember anymore, we have so many online platforms with information following through all of them… everyone laughs Mar: It’s tomorrow at 10:00. Till then!
Slightly opening your eyes to let go any dreams. Probably, some dreams were already yesterday’s. Dissolving the sleep, slowly getting ready to take a gentle shot of reality. Slightly opening your eyes, but still keeping them more closed than open. Slightly opening them in order to let in some new light. Feeling the *clink clink*, the blinking of your own eye lashes. Blinking instinctively but consciously. Trusting them to be there for your eyes. Preventing the entering of too much blinding sun,
Slightly Text by Mar Olivé Nieto
but still allowing the light to warm your eyelids. Slightly watching through, distinguishing some shapes, some silhouettes or lines, in black and white of light and dark. Perceiving what it could be of what’s there, in the outside worlds, in the surroundings of your body, a bit further than yourself but still next to you. And finally, opening the eyes completely. Almost too much. Almost in an uncomfortable way on purpose. Enjoying the burning. Closing them again. Pressing them. Strongly.
Feeling all the muscles of the face. Hearing the blood pumping in your head. And the texture of the wrinkles. Also, the temper ature and the dryness of it. Slightly some sunlight. Who comes to pet your skin. Protecting you from the troubles of today. Feeling cosy. Aware of the safeness that covers you. Truly knowing that here is a home. Purring around like a cat. Hundred percent good with itself. Avoiding reality further than your own body.
The mountains. The mountain of words. A mountain. A mountain creating landscapes. In all kind of scales. Landscapes as tiny as lines in the body, drawing wrinkles. As huge as mountains, drawn by the nature. As huge and tiny at the same time as nature hugging everything herself.
Mountain Text by Andréa Martin Lopez, Maria Madeira, Mar Olivé Nieto, Alexandra Raval
Eyes search for beginning Eyes found comfort zone Conversation: monologue about interaction. Me, us, them, who, you, someone, partly, wholy, completely Exclusion out, group on expectation! This is corporal art isolation This is intimate collective strenght Phenix struggling with loss Trust circus frustration Sky understands clouds wishes: mountain of dreams. eyes found beginning Text by Andréa Martin Lopez
22 conversation 2 In a dialogue on Microsoft Teams after receiving the news earlier in the week that the show can be developed further in the Concertzaal, Tilburg from 2 June 2020 and how the concept was developed. 29 May 2020, Friday Lina Isaksson | Strängnäs, Sweden Andréa Martin Lopez | Lochwitz, Germany Gabriella de Gennaro | Rome, Italy
23
Andréa: I am super motivated to write the first draft of the concept of our performance on stage. I am in a small flat in Lochwitz and even though I don’t like being on the computer all that much, I feel we can develop together, a good idea for the performance with all the interesting researches that were initiated during the past weeks. While having no audience in the theatre and the performance being live streamed, the camera can really play an important role in the performance. We can move the camera in such a way that the audience can feel that they are taking a curated tour of an exhibition in the museum.
Lina: I agree. I think with the format of the live streaming there is this possibility to create another kind of focus through the show that you don’t normally have when you play for a live audience. For me, the projections were the most inspiring idea. Bringing videos from where we are currently, like in our own bubbles, and then projecting it all together. Andréa: Yeah, it’s important to exaggerate the fact that this isn’t a regular show made in regular circumstances. And, we can use it as an inspiration and not like it’s a constraint. Gabriella: I have been really inspired by ‘text’. In all these years, I have been a bit shy about using words on stage and perhaps I didn’t even try because I felt uncomfortable. But when we got to know as a group that we had to come up with something in such an environment, the first thing that I did was to start writing texts. It is actually something that I do often but not really share. I also feel the texts written can really be a connecting point with an audience which is not physically present. Andréa: Usually we’re performing in front of people and now during this online creation process, I think, we found different ways to communicate. Lina: What was also really striking to me was how suddenly everything was about this perspective and situation that was much more global in scale. The ability to live stream, in this case, means that someone who is in another city or even another country can access our performance and then I felt with this idea of projections you can actually bring personal experiences from another place into this shared space. The other day, as I was researching further, I looked up the definition of projection… a projection is making a forecast or an estimation based on a study of what’s going on today and there I found this surreal connection. Like being in this strange situation of Corona (virus) and using projections to create or predict the unknown or unimagined future. Gabriella: Like a utopia.
24
Andréa: So, the concept should include ideas of projections, using the camera as the eye, the texts and videos that were produced during this time. And then, of course, the mountain!
Lina: Yeah… that was a strong proposal from the mountain group. An interesting narrative of building something and destroying it, again building something and destroying it yet again. Andréa: Also, personally I can closely identify with this. This building together for four years and then fraaaattt…it all came crashing down in the end. Lina: Yeah… and then also because of that, because of this destruction, we’re building something completely different now. Andréa: Again building something meaningful with care. Gabriella: The other crucial thing is the current regulations with regard to Covid19 in the Netherlands. To make a performance with the restriction of being 1.5 mts apart. It’s really a big challenge. Lina: This led to a strong rigging proposal of using counterweights, this Monday. Like being apart, yet tethered to each other and finding possibilities to influence each other from a distance while still maintaining a connection with the given constraints. Gabriella: Yes, that will give a whole lot of possibilities to move, to be physical. Andréa: There was also this idea of impacting each other that came from the Zoom performance when they covered the camera lens with their skin and the whole room changed colour. If that is also incorporated, then one person covering the video lens can have an impact on the whole group or the whole room. But, I don’t know if that can be managed on stage. Lina: We have to find ways to use the material we produced during these weeks of ideation. Andréa: Yeah, I’m just scared, we have so many strands that we developed in our little utopias and now we have less than three weeks to try and create this all together for stage. But well, I guess this concept is going to be a utopia in itself. everyone laughs
25
Gabriella: Yeah, but I am hopeful that we can pull it together in this second phase of offline creation.
Lina: I trust we will interpret and reinterpret the concept when we come together in person next week and start creating material.
Step step step bow Turning around to see the eyes Emotions Relations Spin slow spin fast Up in the air This is your spot Play a role Shadow, light Interaction Intense sweat Trust frustration This is corporal art
What would you do if? Text by Gabriella de Gennaro
Sit sit sit click Standing still to watch a screen Filters Meters Remember your past Down on the Earth This is your spot Look inside There is a sky Intimate expectation Mind and Sex Trust frustration Isolation
28 The Mountain of Maybe(s) Concept Groupshow Cohort 2016 - 2020 Life abruptly changed for millions of people as a sickness struck the world. The methods of dealing with this new threat were based on global perspectives of risk and survival; but how many individual perspectives were studied? And how many of them have been shared? When everything revolves around the macro perspective of humanity, the performance ‘The Mountain of Maybe(s)’ is an invitation to share an individual experience. A microperspective. A personal utopia. The makers of the piece are 16 circus performers who have co-exis ted and shared a common past for four years. Side by side, they built their dreams and futures; and together they now create a performance with reflections of the present; as circus, poetry and visual art merge, and evoke thoughts on what kind of world we inhabit today.
Dramaturgy The simple but continuous act of building a mountain of objects creates a line through the whole piece, while an ever-changing succession of small scenes generates new material and interpretations. The piece ‘The Mountain of Maybe(s)’is strongly inspired by the book Nothing by Danish author Janne Teller.1 A story of a group of seventh-graders who decide to prove that life has meaning by building a ‘heap of meaning’ but in the process destroy much of what they feel matters most. The action of building a mountain is used in the performance to channelize frustrations and disappointments over how many dreams withered away from the onset of this pandemic. But also how it opened a portal to a new undiscovered world; a chance to shed skin and transform. The interpretation of this action is how each individual created their own mind-spaces during the lockdown - their personal utopias. The ideas intertwine with the philosophy of the ongoing cycle of creation and destruction, and takes inspiration from the act of creation of sand mandala by Tibetan Buddhist Monks2.
1 Teller, Janne. Nothing. New York: Atheneum Books for Young Readers, 2010. 2 In Tibetan Buddhism, sand mandalas are believed to effect purification and healing. Typically, a great teacher chooses the mandala to be created, and monks consecrate the site with sacred chants and music. Next, they make a drawing and fill it in with coloured sand. After a mandala has been created after days of collective intricate making, a mandala ceremony is held where the monks pray and meditate. After the completion of the ceremony, the monks destroy the mandala because of the underlying philosophy nothing is permanent and every thing is always moving to balance and enlightenm ent.
29
With the uttermost care and precision the mountain of meaning will be built, only to be destroyed immediately after. The underlying tension between the performers causes the mountain to burst, demon strating the meaningless, crazy and absurd trait of this world; and enhances a cleansing exit for them as artists. The process carries more meaning than the product; a concept that is very relatable for the group and their four years together as a cohort. The simple but continuous act of building the mountain creates a line through the whole piece, while an everchanging succession of small scenes offers insights in the various utopias. The scenes have their own logic, with a beginning and an end, like an orchestrated path through works in an exhibition. On a micro structure they tell stories of individual experiences and perspectives; but on the macro they contribute to the sense of creation and withering away.
The mise-en-scène of a collection of common memories, objects and feelings which create the mountain: Sand, bikes, Jumbo bags, rain, frikandel broodjes, courgettes, body parts, helmet, tree branches, hand skin, spoons, teddy bear, caddy, learning English, underwear, used clothes, clouds, broken shoes, chairs, a big mat, blocks, kroketten, passport, broken circus apparatus, raining clothes, personal objects from object work, pointed feet, a little bit of blood, bed sheets, old tissue, sweat, muscle pain, bottle of tears, alcohol, sleeping bags, party, the blue dress, cans of paint, tiredness, pizza, the music of the warmup from Willem Jan, the lake, the dunes, Oerol, wind, drunk bike accident, our first black money, bike fall, white overalls, new housemates, back in shape, eating some sand, a lot of people in a tiny car, no plates outside, Tino leaving the class, 32 min, Sien´s driving license, Capo eira, new branches to eat outside, Axé Cirque Switzerland, Thomas, performance art workshop, Marina Abramović, rave, chapel, square/ circle/line, trampoline, emotions, follow the sock, Shibari, 15 crazy people in the same room, naked boobs, #metoo, fucking the space at 9h in the morning, the thunderstorm during the dance-improv with Alessandro, dance revolution, leaving and coming back, understanding, tears, getting my first piratescarf stitched, the open big door from the hall and a lot of sun when spring is coming, nose piercing, new housemates, love, snow in Tilburg, Portuguese book, flour party, Cul de Sac reopening, hosting together, Gabriella’s nightmare becoming true, tears, buying an apartment, skiing, time, meeting great jugglers, busy, pandemic, fat, Corona, injuries, leaving, pre-freedom, almost there, job, project touching the real, dream, re-dream, collapse, playing games as warm up, Simio, losing weight-gaining weight, realized, diploma handout, online meetings, ready to finish with a big backpack of memories, ability, inspiration and gratefulness, secret game during class dinner, headaches.
30
Scenography: Structure
Since the show will be performed through a live-stream instead of having an audience, it is important that the new format of presenting is being incorporated in the creative process. The fact the audience is not present in the room can be taken as an opportunity to reinvent the ways of performing, offering new angles and focal points. Also, through the focus of a camera lens, the show can be watched as though through a kaleidoscope, rather than like a linear structure.
Space When social distancing must be applied the performers take space. Exploring the new conditions, they create a surreal museum where interaction and impact happens threedimensionally, nonlinear. Examples of this would be the use of the aerial space in circus arts and projections made from different viewpoints. As touch has been expunged from daily life and the world finds collective ways to deal with the pandemic, the research puts emphasis on collaboration under the zero-contact restriction and 1.5 meter distance. The relationship between the physicality and the laws of the ever-changing space and the other performers; researching new ways to interact and impact others movements from afar. Having the option of touch abolished is like losing a sense for a circus performer; thus, the exploration of this is extremely valuable.
Light The use of light is mainly through projections onto the space and the bodies and as architectural and scenographic support. The wish is to enhance the scenes of the mindspaces also by altering visually what is seen on stage. These projections will cover the entire space, but also be directed on smaller details.
Rigging The use of rigging varies from one specific scene to the other. The wish is to make use of our circus apparatus, but also explore new possibilities to connect bodies while keeping the rule of social dis-
31
tancing. One of strong proposal is to hang on harnesses connected in duos on a counterweight system, where one’s actions has immediate effect on the others body.
Costumes With a performance where the presence of projections is really strong, the costumes are designed to support it - pale palettes help the sharpness of the images and texts. An ideal cut for the costume would be a kimono, which would support the fluidity of movements and give a bigger surface for the images to be projected. According to the situation and the context of the performance, there is the possibility of using masks and gloves to allow a moment - or more - of contact in between the performers. In this case, the projections will be included as well. The idea is to possibly project words on the mask which would be the translation of our unspoken words and feelings.
Music The music accompanying the different scenes will go from dark ambient music, to rhythmical electronic music creating a contrast with the actions on stage. There will also be a focus on recorded text, spoken word and rap, since poetry has been an integral part of the creative process.
Conclusion The disadvantage has turned into the focus of our research and through it the group explores how to connect to one another from a distance, both amongst themselves as a cohort, but also with their audience. Working with the current circumstances inspired the group in their creation; but not with the aim of making a performance about the Covid-19 pandemic. Rather, the process offered distance and breath to the present and a chance to filter the experience. Through that the performance does not only carry a message to its audience, but also allows the performers to close one chapter in their lives and walk lighter into the future. → following three pages: âlin impossible Illustration by Andréa Martin Lopez
collage of words by Gabriella de Gennaro
Can you imagine two trapezes hanging in front of you? There is a warm light beam crossing the walls, from right to left. Almost like the reflection of the sunlight in a room during a whole day. There are four people moving in front of you. Who are they? Watching them, you forget about who they could be, and suddenly the memory of one day in spring a year ago comes up. One day, when you suddenly had the feeling for about two seconds that you could fly. alive memory by Laurence Felber
40 conversation 3 in a dialogue after the first week of coming together and starting the offline process. 9 June 2020, Monday Laurence Felber Maria Madeira Lina Isaksson Elodie Dubuc Tilburg, The Netherlands
41
Laurence: Let’s talk about the shift from online to the offline environment. We had already been in the creative process for five weeks online and then this drastic shift of gathering together to continue the process in the Concertzaal.
Lina: It has been a big change for me. I felt comfortable with how it was progressing online and then to arrive in this reality, it’s been hard for me. Having experienced this pandemic in Sweden where we were never in a lockdown, keeping this distance of 1.5 meters - both onstage and offstage - has been challenging. Because when we wrote the concept, keeping distance was just one of the research aspects for me but having to apply it in our day-to-day lives even outside the rehearsal space and overall in Tilburg is something that really struck me on a personal level. Laurence: I felt the first day, a need to address the group and articulate that distancing was something that was serious to me. I lived through the lockdown during the past 2.5 months in the Netherlands being careful and keeping my distance when going out to shop. And then, as I entered here, I was not able to drop what I had lived through and when I shared this within the group, I felt this feeling of exclusion which troubled me deeply. The first two days last week affected me emotionally until I figured out for myself where my values stand in relation to the values, opinions and feelings of our group, acknowledging the fact that we have lived through this pandemic in 10 different countries. Maria: For me, there came a moment when I had to speak up because what I lived before was my personal decision that I took within the framework of rules made by the country (Belgium) where I was in. I was quarantined throughout with just one person and occasionally met a few people outside. And there, I didn’t have to discuss how to act. Once I arrived here, then it was quite confronting, in the beginning, because I was not prepared for the mixed opinions on this. It took some time to be clear first, with my thoughts and then share them, reflecting on what is our common. How can we find a common ground having lived in different ways during the quarantine and actually work in a space which is closed and where we have to constantly negotiate distance and the stipulated restrictions. It was very difficult because I was not confronted by this before and I didn’t know how to formulate or negotiate with it. Elodie: For me, it was like I was living in another reality altogether during the past months. When I heard we could gather together to build the performance, I wanted to come and enjoy this moment with everyone. But arriving here I realised it was far more complex, I was still living what I left behind but I also wanted to be truly present here. So much had happened during these last months in my life, that it was hard for me to fully arrive and it took time to acclimatise into this reality. I still don’t know how to really explain it well.
42
Laurence: That’s true, the ‘articulation’ - that struck me the most, to find words for the feelings I had. It felt like something that is affecting the whole world at this moment was condensed into a small space. All of us coming together bringing in different views and political aspects of different countries into this little space. It was a tricky and sensitive topic and addressing it in a series of collective conversations during the first two days, where people shared concerns and tears helped to unknot the situation. I haven’t cried so much in a long time but this was required I guess, we needed to find a com mon space for conversations and discussions. It led to building a safe space which includes us and all our viewpoints and dissipated this feeling of exclusion that I felt in the very beginning. We needed time to formulate our thoughts and two full days of just talking did that.
Lina: I somehow came back into the Netherlands with a lot of imagined scenarios of how it would feel and experience. I also had a lot of strong political opinions of how it’s handled and what it does to people and communities. Somehow, I had this experience on a very intellectual level and then coming, living and applying it here, because that is the respectful thing to do, was a drastic experience I had to immediately adapt to. I was also really scared of feeling isolated. I was lonely in Sweden because I didn’t have our class there. I didn’t have my friends, I was living with my mother and I missed the group. I felt lonely. But after arriving here, I felt isolated. Because I was restricted from approaching people or touching anyone or having contact and that was really painful the first few days. Elodie: I was a bit shocked and confused when I got to know that we could come back because in my head this wasn’t the best idea; to travel from different countries and come inside the same space together for three weeks. We can spread the virus, however much we take care; we are touching the same surfaces, using the same utilities and everything. I wondered was this really thought through? I thought maybe in the Netherlands it’s not such a big deal and our group seemed happy about it. But I still don’t understand, why should it be possible to travel? Isn’t it a risk? Like Gaston told me, he flew from Argentina to Spain and from Spain to the Netherlands and I didn’t know that this was even possible. If the virus is still here, how is it that after barely two months of lockdown everything is allowed? It’s very confusing to me, the way the situation is being handled in Europe. Lina: There are many layers of regulations, opinions and values leading to this situation. I am still struggling to grapple with this personally, as an individual and then to immediately dive into a group process. l feel like in a pressure cooker, where you have to quickly adapt and deal with transition, make up your mind, find a consensus, be collaborative while constantly finding solutions. I mean we
43
barely have three weeks to prepare and present a show! I think it’s the craziest thing we will experience in a long time. It feels like a social experiment but an equally unique and valuable experiment for sure.
Elodie: I wonder - who are we doing this for? For the school, for people, for ourselves? People who aren’t from the arts have been saying to me, ‘Hey, maybe you have to find another job and let go of the arts for a moment’. I feel so lost, I have spent so much time in the school, I don’t know if I can do something else. And then, when we came back, I felt like I am losing time. But then I thought, maybe this is the last performance we will build in a really long time because it won’t be easy to do this after school. I was constantly questioning myself and in turmoil, perhaps also because I was surrounded by people that are not in school or in the arts. Maria: When I heard the news that we could come back together, for me, it was also a mixed feeling. I was looking forward to seeing everybody again and jump into the artistic process, thinking happily that even in this moment of crisis we can come together and continue building on things we researched during the lockdown. But at the same time, I was very nervous thinking how will we all reconnect again having experienced the pandemic so differently even though in a larger picture we have lived through a common experience. I really want this coming together to bring something new. The confinement of the last few months gave me space to discover new things and I think if we together confront this reality, we can discover and create something different. Let’s not forget about the pandemic because we are back together but address the situation as a group and transform it into something unique. Laurence: And, also reflect and critically think as artists on the overall narrative to find inspiration and opportunities within these restrictions and say - alright! how can we include this in our work? Maria: Yeah, one question I heard recurrently during the quarantine was ‘When are we going back to normal?’. I keep wondering, everyone’s life has changed so much and the world around us has changed so drastically, it doesn’t make sense to go back to normal, or say, like what we knew before. In my point of view, we can never go back to normal. That’s why I feel this process is also the next step into a new way of looking at performance. If we reimagine what is imposed on us not as a restriction but as a framework or a score, we can transform this word ‘imposed’ into new possibilities. Somehow, that’s my hope for this process. Lina: In this creative process we have had so far, I feel we have introduced and brought in many new mediums. We have gained this perspective that was outside of our common bubble - our comfort zone, our life in Tilburg, our daily routine in ACaPA. It kicked
44
open doors to a new medium(s) that we would have probably not incorporated as much as we have now in this creation. And, that’s nice.
Maria: Coming back to the concerns Elodie raised about the arts, it’s going to become different and difficult as nobody knows the future but as artists, we can reinvent. I am hopeful, we can do this and learn from these moments of clashing and feeling there is no other way to do things, but actually we, and by we I mean artists, are so creative that we always find alternate ways if we have to, or even if we want to. I guess, this process also showed us that - that it is possible to readapt and reimagine ways of creating.
→ following pages: photographic essay pictures by Maria Madeira
56 conversation 4 in a dialogue after the first try-out; four days away from the final perfor mance. 15 June 2020, Monday Sien van Acker Andréa Martin Lopez Alexandra Raval Nikita Maheshwary Tilburg, The Netherlands
57
Alex: Could we start by talking about the energy of these last few days, all the constant ups and downs?
Sien: Yes, at times it went so smoothly and it felt like - it’s finally working. And then, the next moment it all came crashing down. Alex: I guess we had to get used to working together again and finding a rhythm. Perhaps because we hadn’t seen each other in a while. Sien: In terms of energy, on the day of the try-out last week, we had to quickly put everything together and it was a super weird day. Time was rushing past but I guess we also found a good drive. We had a good strategy to put everything together and then it was really… Andréa: …but, we also lost Mar that day. We didn’t start in the best way. Alex: Yes, it was a hard moment for me. Sien: I guess, for everybody. Nikita: Tracing back, when we entered the offline environment, in my head we were entering the space with the entire cohort. Losing the first three in the first week itself, was a bit uncanny for me but I respected their personal choices and situations. But Mar leaving the process, that too, right at the end, stung me the most. She’s been there active and contributing throughout - writing beautiful poems, making zoom performances, critically thinking within the group. Overall, I feel it’s a very difficult task to begin with - COVID or no COVID 16 people directing together… Andréa: … while knowing that we won’t work in the future together. It’s not that we aren’t motivated or we don’t love our group… Alex: …but because we are really different artists. We have different ways to work and strong opinions on what we want and what we think. This attempt to try to fit everything in one performance is demanding. Andréa: I felt so much pressure in the last weeks and I feel that made considerable changes in the process too. This chain of uncertainties… (April) We started online, thinking this show would never happen on stage and then switch… (MidMay)… maybe, we can do it for real. (End-May) Okay, we do it for real! And then, coming back in June - we have to respect 1.5 mts distance at all times. We also have to decide if we wish to do a live stream or not. And then, we have to decide if we choreograph for the cameras or not. Later we get to know: you can perform on the live stream if you are selected. Then, on the day of the try-out, we lose Mar.
58
Again, after the try-out, we discuss if we want to have a live stream or not. And now finally, we do a new version of the show on the live stream. Phew! Alex: Since the beginning of the year, we were brewing ideas for this group show. We thought that we will start in public spaces and guide the audience to follow us to the hall or do part of the performance in a bus and then bring back the audience to the hall. All the ideas always involved the audience and their engagement. Sien: I recognise and also feel this feeling of loss. Two days ago, my little sister asked me, ’So when is the performance?’ and I replied on the 20th and she was so excited to come to Tilburg and watch it live. I had to break it to her that audience wasn’t allowed and only 30 people are allowed in the Concertzaal and you have to watch it online. Alex: That’s why I think, I’m not such a big fan of videotaping or streaming or online performances, especially circus shows. The jugglers I know and have been talking to, don’t wish to produce work online and say that this is just a phase and it’s gonna end before Christmas. They wish to work together in a group where it isn’t prohibited to touch each other and make work on new topics which are not always COVID centric. I feel so too, if I get to perform in front of only 10 people every day, I would rather do that, than perform for 100 people online. Andréa: But, I also feel a new audience can arrive through online shows that had never watched circus before. Sien: Coming back to the creation process, the ideas we had in the online environment changed a lot as we entered this space. We were like, ‘Yes! we can finally move again’, and that led to the creation of a lot of new material. Nikita: And, also to the progression and evolution of initial ideas. The mountain of meaningful objects found another identity, quite organically, and became the red thread stitching the whole performance together. Also, the exploration of using the counterweights in varied ways kicked open many small stories, like the duets between Vanessa & Samuel and Francesca & Sien and the trio-acts of Gabriella, Elodie & Vanessa and Maria, Andrea & Laurence. In the new mate rial built, I felt ‘the walk’ became a powerful image. Simple yet so impactful. The walk became another continuing link in the performance for me; almost ritualistic, like a rite of passage. Alex: We also got used to creating with the 1.5mts restriction. In the beginning, it was really hard for me to not touch Adele and then over the days, it became normal to work like that.
59
Nikita: That’s the biggest spectacle, I feel. To break the muscle memory of a ‘normal’ creation process and explore a whole new language of performativity. Our mind and body are rigged for years to practice and create performances in a certain way, and to break that code and not touch anybody while creating intimate acts for me was the real ah-ha moment. My worry before entering this process was - is that even possible? And, much to my surprise, it did become possible! Sien: It’s now getting really ingrained in my head. Like the other day, while watching a Netflix series, I was thinking, ‘These guys are too close to each other. You can’t do it anymore.’ I can’t believe I am thinking this way! Alex: I don’t want to be stuck in this. I really want things to be normal again. Nikita: That makes me think of the shadow & light of the online process turning into the touch-play of shadows onstage. The desperateness to touch again reflected in the shadow play. Sien: It was really a beautiful moment for me to touch the shadow of Maria. Thinking about the try-out, I am happy we did that last week. It has now given us the time to reflect and think critically what works on stage. Andréa: And, reorganise our strategy and execution. I think Friday reflection was needed to hear our different thoughts and collectively brainstorm again. Nikita: It was indeed an important day in the process. In the past weeks, we could never address the fact that the group has very different ways to approach artistic research. Some of you are really conceptual, you have to see things on paper first and then you step into the rehearsal space. While some of you have to immerse yourself physically to research and create new material. The Friday-reflection finally gave space to both the ways of thinking which led to taking the hard decisions of letting go off a lot of cherished ideas or as Lina says - killing the babies. But, it also led to the crafting of a new and strong structure.
60
Andréa: For me, it’s really important to get this structure because what we did in the past two weeks was that each of us plunged ourselves in the work, as you said, with different approaches. And then, we just pasted everything together - so it was a bit of this, a bit of that and a little bit of this. We didn’t step out and look from the outside till the try-out. And then, as we spoke on Friday, we found ways of linking it all coherently.
Sien: Before we end this conversation, I want to say, I am tired. I am really enjoying myself but each day when I reach back home, I’m dead! Andréa: I’m very happy we have this catalogue that has mapped this creation process. It became a medium to express and more importantly place all our different ideas and voices which couldn’t be put on stage but were integral to the process.
61
→ following pages: the performance THE MOUNTAIN OF MAYBE(S) in time lapse pictures by Jona Harnischmacher
1 IT STARTS WITH A BLANK. BLANK STAGE, BLANK EYES, BLANK FACES. BUT, HUMONGOUSLY HEAPED BODIES. HEAPED WITH OBJECTS; OBJECTS BIG AND SMALL. WALKING IN A LINE, SLOWLY, ONE BEHIND THE OTHER, THEY COME SNAKING THROUGH THE FOYER INTO THE HALL ONTO THE STAGE. TO FINALLY SET THEIR BURDEN DOWN. GRADUALLYTHE LIGHT ILLUMINATES THESE OBJECTS AND YOU BEGIN TO SEE. YOU BEGIN TO SEE OBJECTS OF COMFORT, OF FAMILIAR SMELLS, OF USE,
Let`s not call this a performance review Text by Nikita Maheswary The Mountain of Maybe(s) channelizes the longing and frustrations of withered dreams into little pockets of utopia and reverie. All through the performance, as you peek into small playlets evanescent as the bloom of flowers; with utmost care and precision, the mountain of meaningful objects is being built, just to be destroyed immediately at the end, illustrating the circle of life. The performance seems like rites of passage for these artists as they make us reflect on the ephemerality of human life while encouraging us to walk along with them through a portal into a new unimagined world. (Shared the following pages are a few excerpts of the final performance. They aren’t written in any particular order.)
OF HEIRLOOM, OF IMPORTANCE. A GREEN SOFA, A MICROWAVE, A BROKEN CLOSET, A MATTRESS, AN IKEA SINGLE BED FRAME, CHAIRS, DRYING RACKS, A WOODEN DOLL, A LARGE LEAFY PLANT, POTS & PANS, OMAFIETS, TEAKWOOD DOOR PANELS, JUMBO BAGS, AN AURA OF A BIG BROWN TEDDY AND SACKS UPON SACKS BURSTING WITH CLOTHES. 2 THREE WOMEN. TETHERED; TETHERED WITH ROPES FALLING FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE. TWO TOGETHER LIKE THE SIDES OF
A BALANCE WEIGHT SCALE; ONE, ALONE. STANDING APART; ON EXTREME ENDS OF THE FLOOR. UNDER TWO COLUMNS OF LIGHT; OPENING UP THEIR WORLD(S) FOR US TO SEE. THE TETHERED TWO, IN DEEP DIALOGUE, TELLING PHRASES OF UNDERSTANDING AND INTIMACY AS THEY COUNTER BALANCE. ONE FLIES WHILE THE OTHER ROOTS HERSELF IN THE GROUND. ONE GLIDES ACROSS THE FLOOR FOR THE OTHER TO TAKE A LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN. AND THEN, SUDDENLY, ONE GOES HIGH UP ON A TRAPEZE TO LOOK ACROSS AT THE WOMANON THE FAR END
STRADDLEDTO HER OWN TRAPEZE. THEY GAZE AT EACH OTHERFOR A MOMENT, JUST LONG ENOUGH FOR A DEEP BREATH, BEFORE THEY EFFORTLESSLY SWING & SWIVEL BACK INTO THEIR OWN WORLDS, INTO THEIR OWN COLUMNS. AND, JUST AS GENTLY AS THE PENDULUM STOPS SWINGING, THEY TOO END THE HUSTLE OF THEIR DAY EASING INTO THE DARKNESS. 3 IN A LAND DESOLATE, LITTEREDWITH REMNANTS OF A HAPPY HUMAN WORLD, THERE LIES A DEEP GREEN
LEATHER SOFA FOR TWO; HOMEY AND WELL USED, MARKED WITH GOOD TIMES. THE RED ARRIVES BALANCING A CLUB ON TOP OF HER NOSE AND SITS; AND WITHOUT A WARNING, THE GREEN APPEARS SWINGING ON A ROPE TO TOPPLE THE CLUB. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER; DETERMINED. AND THEN, STARTS THE DANCE OF POWER AND BALANCE. THROUGH THE ACT, THEIR BODIES TAUT WITH RIGOUR; THEY TOSS, HOOK, THROW, CATCH, BALANCE THE CLUB, CONSTANTLY FIGHTING GRAVITY TO KEEP IT FROM TOPPLING AGAIN. GREEN HIGH UP FROM THE GROUND; RED ON THE SOFA.
THEY KEEP ME ON THE EDGE OF MY RED PLUSH SEAT; THINKING ‘WHAT IF THE CLUB DROPS?’. WOULD IT BECOME MORE HUMAN & HUMBLE, LIKE WITNESSING A REAL STORY OF TRIUMPHS & FAILURES; OR DO I DEEP INSIDE SEEK PERFECTION, LIMITING IT TO BE PRONOUNCED AS A FLAWLESS CIRCUS ACT. 4 SHE SITS THERE. THROUGHOUT. IN THE FAR LEFT CORNER DOWNSTAGE; LOOKING DELICATE YET STERN. CALM YET INTENSE. FOLDING.
FOLDING CLOTHES. HEAPING PILES OF SHIRTS, PANTS, SKIRTS, BLOUSES, SWEATERS, HOODIES, JACKETS, JEANS, SCARVES, BRAS. FOLDING WITH LOVE AND CARE, AS IF THESE WERE INFANTS SHE NURSED. WITH ACUTE PRECISION AND CRAFT, INTO NEAT LOOKING STACKS. TO BUILD. TO BUILD HER MOUNTAIN, SIMILAR TO THE OBELISK OF OBJECTS ERECTING BEHIND HER. HERS THOUGH, IS SMALLER AND DENSER; MORE FRAGILE TOO. WITH A SUDDEN FLUORES-
CENT FLASHING OUT; IN THE BLOCKS OF MUNDANE GREYS, BLACKS & BLUES. TO RAZE. TO RAZE HER MOUNTAIN TO THE GROUND. AS GARBLED WORDS HOLLER URGENTLY FROM THE SPEAKERS, SHE TRANSITIONS INTO A STATE OF DELIRIUM. SCREAMING A BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM, SHE RIPS IT ALL APART. CLAWING, SCATTERING, FLINGING, DECIMATING. EXHAUSTED, SHE FALLS ON HER KNEES, AMIDST THE DEBRIS. THE DEBRIS OF HER WITHERED DREAMS.
74 notes of a midwife ~ epilogue the dramaturgical arches
The Learning Arches Design of the Performance Project drafted April 17 by Nikita Maheswary
75
Overlapping Arches Macro-Micro Dramaturgy drafted June 12 by Nikita Maheswary
76 #weareinthistogether diary jottings
#weareinthistogether 24 April 2020 we started the online sessions. sixteen odd boxes on the computer screen. them visible; well, partially. sitting against different backgrounds. behind them peaked: white walls, sunlight streaming in through attic windows, plants, flags, paintings, cushy seats of a shutdown theater, the insides of a caravan, a bench, cat(s), trees and hills. they are all living in different realities. some in the lap of nature, some in solitude, some together, most of them away from where they can practice their disciplines. a few enjoying the silence this time brings, a few going through rough times with financial crunches and parents in ill-health. in villages, cities, countries which are dealing in different ways with the current crisis. this lockdown strikes everyone distinctively. how would it impact their ideas&decisions for this uncertain performance? they are in ‘this’ together. we are in this together. is it? really? well, almost. maybe.
#weareinthistogether 9 May 2020 Countries across the world are in lockdown. People are grappling with the loss of loved ones, basic means of sustenance, jobs and health care. This health crisis has snowballed into an economic crisis, human crisis, hunger crisis and a human rights crisis. In India, my country, where the majority of the population is a daily
77
wage earner, the country was put under lockdown on a four-hours’ notice. A lockdown so severe, one could compare it to a nationwide curfew - overnight industries & workplaces shut down and train & bus services were brought to a halt, with stringent police checks on city roads. This immediate loss of income and abject poverty led to tens of millions of migrant workers (read: construction workers, factory workers, house helps) to take up a long treacherous walk from the shuttered cities back to their villages. Walking for days and weeks in the scorching Indian summer, many died due to exhaustion and hunger, some due to road accidents and sixteen laid-off workers were run over by a train. Here I am, oceans away, living on the other end of the spectrum, with a heart full of shame.
#weareinthistogether 20 May 2020 Culture Crisis: Macro The majority of museums and theatres in Europe and around the globe have been shut down.Closing doors to the public resulted in a drastic loss of income adding up to hundreds of thousands of Euros.3 Cirque du Soleil laid off 95% of its workforce and closed travelling circus performances operating in seven countries.4 Disquieting and concerning as it sounds, these are still the big fish. Millions of independent artists, companies and theatres have lost their jobs and are in uncertain times. But well, this is a reportage of the western world where the arts is an organised sector and contributes a good percentage to the economy. The governments have provided support in these lean times to aid the culture sector back to its old strength.
3 Organisations, NEMO-The Network of European Museum. "NEMO publishes initial results of survey on the impact of the corona crisis on museums in Europe". 4 Cole, Brendan.Newsweek. "Cirque du Soleil lays off 95 percent of its workforce after coronavirus forces closure of all its shows globally". 20 March 2020
But how big and silent is the blow to the poor economies and countries? Already surviving under precarious conditions, would the culture sector ever recover? How will the artists sustain? When will the situation be good enough for the arts to resume, especially the performing arts? But again, will people spend time and money on culture whilst the basic physiological and safety needs are not fulfilled? Won’t the emerging artists and craftsmen perish even before they could flourish? Who will join the arts in the future? How will artless nations look? What kind of arts would then the governments save? What will be revived? Will it then be reduced to become cultural mascots propagating national glory?
78 Culture Crisis: Micro In the Netherlands, the season prematurely ended in March and the theatres will keep their curtains firmly closed till September. Amid these distressing times, the new provincial government of NoordBrabant has announced severe cuts in culture subsidy. Lumping together heritage, sports, leisure and tourism with culture, the subsidies will largely be phased out in the coming years leading to fatal collapse of many companies, festivals and independent makers both mid-career and emerging. This double-blow is predicted to severely damage the state of the arts in the province.
#weareinthistogether 12 June 2020 Sitting inside the foyer of Concertzaal in Tilburg, as we look out from the majestic floor-to-ceiling windows at the dark clouds looming over the Heikese Kerk, there is this shared yet unspoken feeling of being trapped. Trapped in the twin burdens of gratitude and guilt. The gratitude to be able to get back to work again, back to create with peers in a physical space. The guilt: of being able to do so, in this time and space, while the world outside is ominously quiet. The distinctiveness of the situation has been acknowledged from the very start: to be one of the few graduating classes to get the chance to come together to create a performance; within the school, amongst peers outside, and in a larger context, within the shutdown art scene. And, since then, this feeling of privilege has loomed over the process like the dark clouds outside; unceasingly impacting creativity, making decisions hesitant. Reflecting on the previous day’s try-out, a distraught Lina said to the group solemnly, “We are 13 white bodies on stage wearing offwhite loose costumes which look almost too close to a kimono with a soundscape sounding Asian in places. I am perturbed thinking are we culturally appropriating? Being too focused on our struggles, which I don’t mean to undermine, I feel we might have been blinded to what’s going on outside this hall. The world has taken to the streets with the killing of George Floyd and the cry of #blacklivesmatter. I am not assuming that we know how to address this or the many topics which the world is reeling with as of today, or even if we have the time to do so, so late in the process… but having this opportunity of a voice, in these times, I feel the urgency and the weight of not doing so.”
80 a philosophical quandary Time and again, I was confronted, rather bluntly, by the distinction of eastern and western thinking during this creative process. Thinking which stems from a lived philosophy in contrast to the philosophy of the university; a philosophy which is entrenched in religion, culture, beliefs, rituals, and a way of being. It surfaced, this thinking, in differing ways – the way the arts are practiced, produced and experienced, reflecting on the agency of being & non-beings and in the approach of learning and teaching.
The Dichotomy of Individualism & Collectivism in the Arts The individualism stemming from the European Miracle and Modernity, furthering the era of Thatcherian/Reaganian neoliberalism, inscribed itself in the practices of everyday life valorising selfreliance, personal advancement and competitiveness. This same autonomy, strong sense of selfsufficiency and personal agency that individualism yields I feel becomes paradoxical within the arts. And especially, the performing arts, as most performance making and practice is a collective and collaborative activity embedded in relationships. Living in a world where each of us ought to be a unique individual with carefully curated tastes and opinions, and in our case, develop into a unique performer/maker with an equally unique signature style, we have somehow sat ourselves smack in the centre of a dichotomy. The dichotomy of doing a collective and collaborative activity while being perennially individualistic. Over time, the fixed criterion of ‘how will this interest/benefit me personally’ has become so overriding that the ‘personal’ often overshadows the larger context, i.e. the creative process, which in perpetuity is always collective.
The Agency of the Apparatus
81
I have a niggling feeling towards the way the word ‘apparatus’ is used in Circus. Earlier this year, while attending the brilliantly curated Circus Symposium: Smells like a Dialogue, I was confronted by the word in a panel discussion. Again, in this process, the word ‘apparatus’ jumped at me quite frequently. My aversion: It sounds too clinical, too distant. In circus, an artist is defined by her discipline - a swinging trapeze artist, a diabolo artist, a tightrope performer - her identity entwined with the so-called apparatus; yet considering ‘it’ (even if linguistically speaking) as an object, one strips it completely off its agency. This dualism of artist-apparatus or subject-object, I feel restricts and obstructs the embodied experience of such practices. As a trapeze artist are you, the subject, completely in control of the object, the trapeze? Aren’t there days when the trapeze guides and shapes your creation? Isn’t there a feeling of intimacy in the way you touch each other, a feeling of familiarity? Does the trapeze have no agency to influence the practice and performance? Doesn’t perfecting your command on trapeze sounds eerily similar to perfecting the command on lions and elephants in the traditional circus? My impetus to this quandary comes from comparing the apparatus to the ghunghroo, musical anklets made by 50 - 200 small metallic bells donned by practitioners of most Indian classical dance forms. Clinically speaking, the ghunghroo is worn to enhance the performance and showcase the fluidity of intricate footwork but there is a history (and emotions) of deep reverence and intimacy attached to it. Blessed ceremoniously by the guru, the ghunghroo is considered dance itself; revered each time before one sets foot on stage. There have been days, I felt my ghunghroo made my dance, and days when we together failed in finding the correct rhythm. I refuse to believe that these two relationships - circusartist & apparatus and dancer & ghunghroo - aren’t built and nurtured the same way. Over years, slowly, patiently, crafting unspoken acquaintanceship through touch and breath, finding intimacy over sweat, tears, blood and blisters…
82
Learning & Coaching and Coaching & Learning
During this process, in my role as a coach, I felt I trespassed quite often. I was a bit too hands-on and frankly, I was unsure of what ‘ideal coaching’ warrants. I understand it is subjective and has to be adapted according to the process or situation; but in this case, I believe it was my lack of understanding cultural nuances. From the outset, we (them & me) began with contrasting notion of the word. This discordance (again) was not purely semantic, it was also rooted in cultural differences: my inquisitiveness to understand their individual desires, older work and motivations, sociopolitical narratives while referencing and contextualising their ideas, was perhaps more meddling and intrusive than providing immediate and more practical solutions. In retrospect, this dilemma manifested from two sources. First, my own understanding and experience of learning comes from the psychological imprints or saṃskāras of the Guru-Shishya Tradition (Teacher-Student Relationship). Originating from Vedic culture, the principle of this relationship is that knowledge, especially subtle knowledge, is best conveyed through a strong human relationship. I don’t wish to exoticize it, rooted in religions & doctrines mishmashed with modernization & institutionalization, it isn’t perfect. Yet the essence of this tradition, as part of the lived history of generations, has seeped deep in the approach of learning and teaching in the Subcontinent. The second source, in my belief, is again, ingrained in the dichotomy of individualism & collectivism created by aggressive neoliberal ideology. While being extremely cordial and respectful of other’s space, we (teachers & students) simultaneously build shields around self - leading to us become more private, more reserved, more detached. The self, so impermeable, that ‘concern’ from the other is quickly translated into ‘interference’. In the context of art pedagogy, this cordial yet aloof relationship, inside the studio often morphs itself into becoming more transactional and problem solving and less experience sharing, tacit and anecdotal. Which again leads me to question - how does one practice art education without working together (student & teacher) as part of a collective? In our case, over the weeks, we nurtured our bond with time and conversations, to find a common meeting point. In a true neoliberal way, ‘we faked it till we made it’. And to unknot this conundrum of the word ‘coach’, a happenstance led me to read a lecture by Guy
83
Cools on dramaturgy , where Cools compares a dramaturg to a midwife. And just like that, sinking into the role of a midwife, helping in whichever little ways in easing the creative process and birthing the performance, felt far more befitting than that of a coach. 5
Nikita Maheshwary is a performance maker and researcher. Trained in Indian classical dance-theatre form of Kathakali and Postmodern dance techniques, she has over a decade’s experience in choreography, pedagogy, research and curation. Her artistic inquiries lie at the nexus of gender, culture, and identity. Currently, she teaches dramaturgy and artistic research at Fontys Academy of Circus and Performance Art, is a research fellow at DAS Graduate School, Amsterdam and the Festival Programmer at Natya Ballet Centre, New Delhi. Originally from Delhi; she lives in Tilburg.
5 Cools, Guy, 2017. Dance Dramaturgy as Creative and Somatic Practice/The Art of Witnessing.
Colophon
85
Editor: Nikita Maheshwary Art Direction & Design: Laurence Felber Contributors: Adèle Didelez, Alexandra Raval, Andréa Martin Lopez, Elodie Dubuc, Francesca Orso, Gabriella de Gennaro, Laurence Felber, Lina Isaksson, Mar Olivé Nieto, Maria Madeira, Nikita Maheshwary, Samuel Rhyner, Sien van Acker, Vanessa Sweekhorst Photography: Maria Madeira & Jona Harnischmacher Copyediting: Sunaina Jain Printed & Bound: printenbind.nl
Special thanks to John van Riemsdijk, Noé Robert, Tara van Ettinger and the entire ACaPA team. Published by Fontys Academy of Circus and Performance Art, Fontys School of Fine and Performing Arts, Tilburg, 2020
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any other information storage or retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher or the editor.
caring carrying pile up folding tidiing cleaning bringing leaving living destroying space thoughts mess crash trash lovely mess full known unknown past present future interrogations exclamation braketts anger sadness nostalgy joy disappointment hope question marks love charging red yellow brown blue black pink purple green white orange grey dark deep light clear shades flowers lines stripes circles dots squares drawings abstract realistic pattern panther
zebra plain multi fluffy soft creased ironed linen cotton silk wool lyocell polyester elasthan viscose small medium large long short mini shapes colors fabrics variety mountain maybe doubt unstable balance bike trash memory object Grandmas skirt yellow shirt black bra lara croft stereotype contrasts abstract modernism contemporary questions time tick tack click click selfie stick noodle soup spicy chili competition stupid humanity homo sapiens brain red cabbage carrots rabbit easter
eggs tradition hidden secret sexy holy church golden sinners coins wilhelmina dutch kroketten bread nightmare sleep bedsheet soft skin touch impossible hug close far thoughts wishes dreams utopia maybe uncertain endings Nostalgia old rotten reincarnation snoop dog swag style trends golden necklage dollar sign bling Bling cash machine broken bones pain sharp arrow further flying airplane eagle floating under water blue dark blue deep sea unknown curiosity children open door
step foot step new better clearer lighter faster cheaper further more more more time tick tack clack clack high heels prada gucci fendi hermes nike galbani versace buitoni colgate zonnatura addidas feiyue jumbo jumbojet dimension spaceshuttle crazy party tiger stripes golden hoop fire danger circus supernatural questionmark signs movement body transition transformation development growing sunflower seeds oil yellow dutch trains cancelled new ways new encounters social distancing far
away and close possible plastic hug heart beat drums loud scream until your tongue drops a drop rain sky fall darkness mystery fantasy fanta pepsi cola fake sugar drugs dirty money value loss death tears raindrops endless circle of life baby hit me baby one more time really questionmark why do you questionmark language lesson boring throwing paper punishment leader follower instagram addiction egocentric
center gravity turning earth ball round head thoughts rolling brain fart spontaneous moment here now flow dance sweat liquid salty sea endless infinity popsong chorus repetition sysiphus myth truth honesty marriage three some tree branche arm strong moon unknown behind above under within between squeezed ass handstand balance work life inbetween children playful dogs barking night scary horror imagination art endless art isolation inclusive
connecting hands fingers nailpolish colour bright energy orange vitamin health insurance possible impossible tonguestand fingerstand handstand line perfectionism points personality soulmates romantic couple candles fire emergency exit finish leaving building leaving off leaving now leaving exploding partly leftover pizzaslice dominos cheap peanuts nonsense fantasy forever limitless without topless status discussion languages common circle therapy outspoken lips teeth toothpaste colgate gate airport too late cancelled dutch trains
rain yellow favourite jacket fashion caTWALK SKINNY SLICK UNPERSONAL SHINY GLOSSY LIPGLOSS DIOR CHANEL PRADA MONEY CULTURE HOLE BLACK ENDLESS FALLING MATRESS PILE ACAPA GREY BOX PANDORA STORYTELLING SPEAKING LOUD PARTY POLICE BLUE RED YELLOW TABLE RULES KNIGGE DRESSING ROOM RICH POOR DIFFERENCE NOW WHAT FURTHER WAY CURVE BANANA TWO CIRCLE CIRCUS TRADITION NEW DEVELOPMENT CATERPILLAR FOOD BURGER TRENDY MYSELF OTHER BEING STRONG INDIVIDUAL
CHARACTER PLAY HIDDEN DESIRE WARMTH RED SKIN VULNERABLE BABY FRESH ICECREAM INTERMEZZO MEMORY CHOCOLATE FILLING BACK TO SHAPE WISHES EXPECTATIONS START RACE FERRARI PORSCHE DRIVING LICENSE GROWNUP SERIOUS QUESTIONMARK POINT SPACE ANGLE VIEWPOINT SHADOW TOUCH CLOSE CLOSER WITHIN AROUND ABOUT TO FOR MORE AGAIN UP MOUNTAIN HERO STANDING FLAG WIND REFRESHING FACE EYELASHES CLINK CLINK LITTLE HOUSES FAR AWAY STILL HERE UNDER ABOVE UPON BETWEEN MOUNTAIN AND
SKY TOUCHING CLOUDS WHITE SOFT FEATHER BED OLD GARBAGE RECYCLING FIRE RESTART DECIDE OPINION POLITICS POKERFACE GAME TRUTH ADMITTING SOFT SKIN ROSE FLOWERS POWER NATURE RIVER BLUE WATER SPARKLING BURNING THROAT RENEW INVENT BRAIN CLOUDS ALREADY RITALIN MORE FURTHER CAPACITY AUDIENCE SITTING STANDING JUMPING JOY SUNLIGHT BRIGHT SUNBEAM RAINBOW GLITTER UNICORN MORE MORE MORE KITSCH OVER CLASH DOWN TO EARTH AGAIN UNDER
All writings in this book, in the form of notes and conversations, can be read as personal thoughts and musings of the contributors. The views shared here do not claim to represent or define the overarching vision of Fontys School of Fine and Performing Arts and Fontys Academy of Circus and Performance Art.
Abstract
The Mountain of Maybe(s) is a mapping of a performance process which evolved from an online to an offline environment in the midst of a raging pandemic and all its restrictions. The book unpacks the drastic shift in the ways of being and thinking that led to the emergence of new codes of performance making and performativity. Against the backdrop of four conversations and an epilogue - notes of a midwife, the book traces poems, doodles, Zoom performances that preceded the slurry of texts, skinscapes and scenes of rigour (and sometimes, sheer magic!) which built a performance that embraced the macroscopic situation, and each other, while being unalterably apart.
TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUC TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUC